Behavior Autopsy

You may ask "What the heck is that", but it is a very effective tool for changing behavior. I learned it at a CHADD meeting back when Arion was very young. I find that I am again using it with Lauren now. You may want to use it too. Here is how it goes. Lets say your child does something wrong. You sit down and discuss the behavior. The thing is you don't get mad or yell or even discipline. You just discuss it and pick it apart in a non-confrontational way. You have three main areas to discuss.

1. What they did wrong
2. Why it was wrong
3. What would have been a better choice.

The point is to help them understand what happened and how it effected the people around them. The thing is, kids with ADHD and other sensory disorders rarely mean to hurt their friend and mainly do it because of a lack of thought. They just do and their brains miss the step. By discussing it and giving them a better way to handle the situation, you can help to change the behavior the next time. Who knows. It helped with Arion and I hope it will help with Lauren and Brandon.

Girls Night Out

Last night was Lauren's Scout Troop Camp out. Well, our regular camp out was supposed to be back in May or June and we canceled due to bad weather. We ended up in the troop leaders back yard. It went very well. We had 7 girls and 4 adults. The girls had a good time and for the most part were pretty good. We are going cabin camping in October. Here are some pictures. This is our camp site.

Here are the girls learning to whittle with soap and plastic knives.

Here they are hanging out by the fire.







Making smores

Crazy Milestones

Watching Brandon the last couple of days has really made me realize all the progress he has made in the last year. Just the fact that he picks up and pencil and starts to draw is a big one. Brandon never drew before. He hated to just hold the pencil. But it's more than that. There are so many things that are new this year. The big one is the lieing. Before this summer Brandon didn't lie. Or maybe it would be better to say he couldn't lie. The concept just wasn't there. At times it was helpful. The baby sister knew that if she ask Brandon if he hit someone he would say "yes" if he did and if he said "no" that the other kids were lieing. If Brandon was in timeout and I ask if he was ready to be good, sometimes he would say no. This just let me know he needed more time. This summer things started to change. I don't think I will ever forget the day he passed gas and blamed it on Lauren. It took me a minute and then I said "you lied". Of course he just stood there smiling. I also remember telling the sister and us discussing what a big milestone this was. Over the last month or two the frequency of lieing has increased. Not a lot mind you, but when you start with nothing anything seems big. I guess I really need to remember to tell his teacher.

Spelling with Brandon

Last night was kind of cool. During the last several weeks Brandon has been asking me how to spell things. Last night he actually got a pencil and was trying to write what I said on a paper. One problem was he wasn't sure how to make more letters. It started with the word boy. He got the B and the O but couldn't figure out how to make a Y. I had him come in from the kitchen and I would show him what it looked like. I think it was the first time he had really tried to write words on his own.

I Just Can't Win

You know, whenever I think I am making progress, someone tries to cut me off at the knees. Arion got a call yesterday from the school. They are sending the medical papers back. They say the results are incomplete and still need more. They also say that he needs another booster. All this before the 24th when I take him up. On the brighter side, he now knows who his roommates are. 5 other guys, 2 are twins. I made him try to call them and talk about what they were bringing. I don't think it was a long conversation, he really didn't learn much about them. I can't believe we only have a week left.

The second thing is now Brandon wants to go to school. For the whole month of summer school he fought it every day. He would claim to be sick and not want to go. The one day he really had me laughing. He said "my stomach hurts, my teeth hurt, I'm sick & I have a feber". I started to say "if the bus comes you have to go". Last night he kept asking if he was going to school. Kill me know. This means I'm in for about 2 weeks of "I want to go to school".

Truth is Funnier Than Fiction

Today was pretty funny. I had pulled into our banks drive-thru. The nice man turned on the mic and asked me what I needed. I told him and then after prompting from Lauren and Brandon, asked for 2 lollipops. I then realize that I had failed to tell Brandon to brush his teeth.

Anne - "Brandon, you didn't brush your teeth this morning did you??"

Brandon - "No"

Brandon - "I was wasting my time"

Anne - "you were wasting your time?"

Brandon - "yeah"

At this point I am starting to crack up. I then look over at the nice man in the bank. I then realize that he had left the mic on and was laughing too.

New Rules for Lauren

First, it is so nice that I am not running around like crazy. Summer school is over and I can relax in the morning. OK, Lauren got a CD player for her birthday. Nothing special. I gave her some CD's that Jim's sister had for her to have and listen too. The one is Christina Aguilera's first album. Lauren has decided that she loves the song Genie in a Bottle. It really is kind of funny. I showed her how to repeat the song or go back. So she has been playing it over and over and over. The funny part is she sings along with the music. My poor baby is a little tone deaf. Of course because of the ear phones you only hear her singing and she doesn't sing all the words, just some. The new rule for this toy is that I shouldn't be able to hear the music. At times she has it blaring.

The other big new rule is regarding computer time. One of the other toys she got was a Webkinz horse. If you don't know what these are, they are stuffed animals that you go on line and create a world for. Kind of like a neopet. You can earn money to buy stuff for their room and food for your pet. Kind of cool. The problem is she wants to be on all the time. On Saturday she got very mad when I said she was done for the day after 3 hours. She ended up being sent to her room for attitude problems. I guess she really isn't a little girl anymore.

Finally Got Some Work Done

Yes, I know I have been really lazy about finishing the bathroom. There just wasn't enough time on the weekends or I was missing something. After work I kept saying I was going to get going and then after I got the kids in bed, I be too tired. Well, enough is enough. Sunday was going to be my day. I think it is looking great. The back wall is now done except for the pieces that need to be cut. Here are some pictures of the progress. Tell me what you think.

This is me hanging the shelves and soap dish.

Here is the first side. I am really starting to like the 6 inch tile. Much faster than the 4 inch.

This is what I got done while Jim had the kids at the pool.

I got the top done after the kids were in bed.

Lauren's Birthday Week is Over

I swear around here birthdays last a week. Lauren's sure did. On Monday (her real birthday) we went out to dinner and had the servers sing for her. She loved it. Then on the way home, Arion took her shopping for her gifts. Then on Tuesday we took cupcakes to summer school. On Wedsday they had cupcakes at the sitters. Yesterday we had her party. It really turned out great. The party was at a beauty school. All the girls got their nails polished and their hair done up or curled. We had pizza and cake and really had a good time. We even had enough girls show up. This has always been a problem. Since it's in the middle of the summer, you alway run into people being on vacation. Of course I forgot the camera. Jim took some pictures with his phone. They turned out pretty good.

Update on Co-Worker

Well I talked to my supervisor. I informed her that the comments made to me were unacceptable. We are supposed to have a meeting with HR next week when he gets back from training. We'll see. I talked to several people who agree that it was totally out of line. I doubt that they really will do much, but if he continues to act this way, it should be on record that I did report it. The one thing that was nice was when talking to friends about it, the men also said that it was out of line. Some even expressed that if they ever said something like that to their wives that they would be in big trouble. I'll let you know how it goes.

Really Pissing Me Off

Yesterday at work my new co-worker said something to me that just set me off. All night long I was so mad it was like spiting fire. OK, it sounds dumb, but it really is just the wrong thing to say to me. I had questioned him about some shelving he bought and he got all defense about it. I walked to my office and he followed me and started arguing with me about it. Talk about insecurity. Next thing I know he tells me to "Just stay in the kitchen". WHAT THE F*CK. He then informed me that my kitchen was my office. OK. I just spent my day doing things that are HIS job and he's going to tell me to stay out of the shop. I DON'T THINK SO. I informed him that I am the Manager, and I will go where ever I please. I will be discussing the whole thing with my supervisor today. We'll see what happens.

Happy Birthday Lauren

Today is Lauren's Birthday. Today she is 8. I seems like I just had her. They grow up way to fast. This year it looks like it will be a week long event. Tomorrow I will take her to school with cupcakes for her class and on Saturday she will have her party the the Beauty school. Now if I can just get people to show up. That's always a probem with Lauren and Brandon. With Lauren, they are all on vacation and with Brandon, they are all going to holiday parties. I hope she has a great day. This is Lauren on her first Birthday.

Update On Life

Just feel like logging how life is going today. Please bear with me.

Arion - We are coming along on the list. I got back the medical forms that need to be sent in and all the shots and tests are done. We discovered that they don't make nursing shoes in a size for Arion, so he talked to the school and he can wear all white sneakers. After 2 stores we found a pair of Nike that will work. We have started piling up his stuff in the living room so he has room to pack his cloths. I told him he needs to have his winter stuff packed by next Monday. Arion made the first payment to the school. It makes me feel proud that he is helping to pay the way. I know so many families where the kid just expect the parents to do it all and they should just go and have fun. I think this will make it mean more in the end. I have told Arion that if he does good this year and gets his drivers license that I will give him the Camry.

Lauren - Tomorrow is her Birthday. We will be having her party next Saturday at the Beauty School. I am hoping that some girls show. It is always a problem, with people on vacation. Otherwise, Lauren is enjoying her summer and loves summer school.

Brandon - Today Brandon asked to take his medicine. It kind of threw me. I had asked if he wanted juice and his response was "yeah, and my medicine". I asked him if he liked how it made him feel and if it made him calmer. He said yes, but I'm not sure he understood the question. I'd like to believe that he did. He still complains about going to school every morning and really wants his old teacher. I guess it's a good thing that he will be in the same class next year.

Me - Things are going better at work. I can't believe I've had the new crew for 6 months. I think I have found a part-time job. The local K-mart is opening an appliance section and are looking for people to man it. It pay hourly plus commission. Jim and I discussed me getting a second job. Things are just getting too tight around here and with the kids needing after school care and Arion being in college, we need the extra money.

That about sums it up.

A Great Night Out

Last night was my one of my companies outings. It was held at a local minor league ball park. It was great. In the section we were in you had an all you can eat buffet and a small pool that you could watch the game from.

Of course I'm not sure that the kids were really paying it much attention. At the tables there were small TVs so you really could pay attention. Towards the end Brandon was really cheering on the team. It was funny to hear him yelling "Now that's what I'm talking about". The one great thing was Brandon was eating like a champ. He had 2 (that's right, I said 2) hot dogs, watermelon (holy crap, that's a fruit) and cotton candy.

My new co-worker came and his two girls were about Lauren's age and they had a great time together. Today, Lauren has been invited over to their house for a party. We left before the game was over, but it was already past 9 and we wanted to get out before things got crazy. By the time we got home, the kids were out and it was after 10. I'm glad I put their jammies in the car and had them change before we started driving. The only bad thing was that Arion had to work and didn't get to go. I'm not sure we could have gotten him to go anyway.

Social Butterfly is Starting to Stretch His Wings

Arion has never been a very outgoing and social person. He had friends at school, but never really went to their house or had anyone come over. Mainly, he would come home and just stay in the house. Lately things have been changing. He started with spending the night a couple of times at a friends house from work. It went well and I tried be to encouraging. After school ended he went camping with about 15 friends from school for about 3 days. I thought this was great. Yesterday he called me at work and said that some of his friends were going to the city to hang out and he wanted to go. We talked for a couple of minutes about the do's and don'ts. Of course after I said "no drinking" he had to be a wise ass and ask me if heroin was OK. Such a pain in my ass. One of the questions I asked was if he would be coming home or staying out for the night. He said he would be home late and would take his key. OK, here is where the problem is. When I got up this morning, he was not in his bed. I tried his cell phone and there was no answer. I called his Dad, who hadn't heard from him either (not that I expected it, but one likes to check the bases). I figured that if he was in real trouble I would have had a call from the police, so I just started thinking I would just kill him when I found him. At about 9:30 am, a very sleepy Arion called my cell phone to tell me he was OK. After chewing his butt, his excuse was he didn't want to wake me at 1:00 am, so he didn't call. I told him "I don't care what time it is, you call". I guess I should be glad that I got though 19 years without doing this earlier.